Training

Such fun little subbies running their asses off to please. That is what I like to see I do not like fools errands but I do enjoy the fear of disappointment. Training is best when there can be consistency I feel,so from now on my ling will blog twice daily once by 12 noon Dom time the other by 12 midnight Dom time. Every day starting January 1,2006.

When ever she masturbates she will have to have the intruder in for half an hour before hand. Spelling mistakes in blogs and emails will be punished once a week on Wed of that week. Sunday night will remain the mirror night exercise routine will have to be back up to schedule by Jan 30 th. Including the time and now that she has a camera she wall have to send a picture of the positions that she has learnt and the new ones I will give her. Normal routine of emails still in effect and I believe that story should re-start soon. When not working the dress code is in effect which is Dresses only no underwear and a bra only when needed. When ever ling is with a Dominant she must follow the rules that I have set forth . Last for now ling is to be naked when ever she can be pussy shaved, her back straight and ass out. Yes I like training.

And now 2006

Well Christmas is over and soon New Years will pass and it will be back to the norm. I have to re-start lings training she has almost healed so now is the time to get down to brass tacks. Her first task will be to get into shape something that she was doing very well with until the accident. The protocols will have to be review new positions assigned and she has to expand her circle of friends out in the west.

I have started back again to my exercise routine ouch that hurt I never learn. I should not stop them ever too much a pain to re-start after the holidays. I will attempt to find a surrogate for any punishments that require more than the intruder. I must get back to my toy making I have a new rotary tool which should be a lot of fun. No Sir no attachments that should be used on subs at least not yet. I am in a quandary as to how to give ling a feeling of closeness over such a distance. Oh for a teleportation device now. I would like to take a course on leather. Of course I would like to find one or two subbies to play with here.

I think that is all as far as what I intend doing this year

A very Merry Christmas to you all

Enjoy the holidays with your families hug the small ones.
I hope you all find the happiness
that I feel at this time of the year.

Merry Christmas

Christmas is packaged and put under the tree

I have finished my wrapping, my decorating and I await a phone call for the last gift which if it does not come I have a replacement for it. SO the marketing is over for me now I start my Christmas spirit of baking , being of good cheer and remembering those that have good cheer about them. There are those like a neighbor of mine that does great decorations has the Christmas spirit well he yells at his kids for getting water on his car and he is off between xmas and new years but his kids are in day care I would guess that needs to rest after all that Christmas spirit then there are the grinchs. Those that are decorations challenged shall we say.One such person is a Grinch that I know does not keep Christmas well I would say. He is always berating the holiday and bah humbug that. Yet the rest of the time he spends driving friends around who can no longer drive. He is kind to any one he does not have to know you to extend his hand to help. He sits with worried wives waiting for their husbands to come out of surgery. He is always trying to organize events for that people can get together to enjoy themselves and he wants his borrowed grandson to enjoy Christmas. Yah this grinch is a nasty one at Christmas of course the rest of the year he is just a great friend.

SO to my friend not of the Christmas spirit, you are a gentle soul and I wish you the best all year long. To finish on a note of mystery have you noticed that you never see my friend and Santa together?
You could say they sometimes look a like. They both like harnesses and whips. They both like a little bit of dress up and they both like the cold .Secret identity hmmmm, harnesses and whips involved hmmm. You ever know!

Tis the season to be naughty

Well yes the sub is in trouble again after a few days of the old intruder punishment some one has missed deadlines. What to do hmmm spanking, no my hand is too far away, bondage, no someone would like that too much , intruder time well maybe.

Funny how subs seem to take on too much yet are not willing to say so especially to their Doms. The one person that has control of the situations that he places in front of them. I do not mind failure it gives me the opportunity to torture them sweetly they know they are wrong not much to prove so the prosecutor part is easy the judge is easier but the executioner is so much fun. Should I punish publicly lets say at a party where a certain sub would become a practice toy for Dom/mes on how to insert intruders and retract them, or should only a few know that the intruder is making someone uncomfortable .

I do have a soft spot and at this time of the year it shows more than at others we Dom/mes should have it removed, as a matter of interested my sub has said she is happy that I have one but would not want to see it too often . So and I am doing this to make some one squirm should I hide it away right now and inflict the demonstration upon you as well as other punishments or should I hold punishment, embracing my soft spot and instead judge you on Jan 1st? Careful how you answer my ling I would have lots of time to plan punishment for Jan but you would be able to sit through Christmas dinner far easier and have more time to do your preparations. If you postpone. You have to tomorrow to let me know in a comment here, oh come January we will be working on organization won't we.

Impressions scolding and punishments

Well last night I came home from a visit with friends and found an email from my sub ling. Actually it was an email from a mutual friend of ours.

This impressed me because I had scolded ling for her lack of enthusiasms for completing tasks. Mostly due to poor organization I felt and trying to squirm out of those tasks she did not enjoy. The scolding took place in an email she had time to for her to offer explanation for her actions or accept guilt. she show strength in accepting guilt right away and awaited punishment. More than she would do the punishment was she had to blog about it I know she did not like the butt plug and worse to have to start every communication with me or in her blog with the phrase the butt ply is in Cloud must have made her squirm.

I knew that last night was a terribly busy night for ling with all the catering and it was the last night of punishment so I felt if she did not complete all her tasks I would scold her but not continue the punishment for I felt she had learnt her lesson. All this to say I was impressed that ling went to such lengths to compete her tasks of last night.

I do not reward for tasks being down usually as they are expected but when such extreme measures are used I am impressed and say so. ling I am impressed. So lets us say now that ling is unplugged for now which will make her rosebud rectum very happy today to sit around with out the intruder.

Christmas or can I be Santa next year

I have tried to stay away from a vanilla Christmas blog. I just did not feel like re-living the joys of Christmas past I would guess. So I will Grinch a bit. Instead of my childhood Christmas that were truly reflective of Christmas I will recount the joys of Christmas at Grandma that I have be subjected to the tortures of extended family xmas. The horror of transporting small children to grandma every year at a very exciting and emotional time then telling them that if they miss-behave there is a little strange man that hangs around with elves and cleans reindeer poop from his beard , after all birds crap when they fly, he will decide on that one night whether or not to give them coal instead of a present. This after a year of convincing our children that there is no monsters in the closet or under the bed.

Then there is the procession of showing off the little darling to aunts and uncles and people that I never met before but some how became life long family friends this year. Of course there is the petty arguments from the children not the young ones but their parents as they fight for the attention they never got at Christmas from their parents because they were too busy entertaining the unknown relations that seem to multiple with each passing year. So here I am trying to keep my children performing for the mass of adults that are there for drinks and food and don't care if little Johnny can do a magic trick by wiggling a loose tooth. Then there is the interminal question why do we not get together more often that is when I would just like to give them all mirrors as presents and ask then to look at the image in it for the answer. Last there is the statement oh the children are acting up well it is midnight the kids have not sleep in anticipation and the fat guy has not shown up with the presents yet because we are following a Victorian decree that says you must torture the children so they are so near to tears that they open their presents at midnight and at 12:01 will fall asleep crying with joy, not for the present or good times but that it is over.

Is it over yet no now we must trundle them off home and put them to bed so that sugar plums dance in their heads while Mom and Dad put the damm toys together with Korean instructions so the fat guy gets all the credit. Finishing just in time for us to have a tea no not sleep it is time for little voices of cheer and bright eyes to open and rush down the stairs. Ripping through paper and Oggoling bright shiny things sitting on parents laps giving hugs and kisses. Oh well I guess for the hugs and kisses it is sort of worth while but now that they have grown up they are getting a bit heavy on my lap. Have you notice one thing Santa is never home with the family on Christmas eve, this is when I scratch my Grinchey chin and go hmmmmm.

Do we need a reason to play

No we do not. The punishment in all forms whether plays session or true punishment is a need the Dom fulfills for subs they desire both one less than the other but it must be present without it the relation losses edge. Does a Dom like having a reason? When I punish I must have a reason, in a play session I sometimes use a reason of a slight infraction being the bases for sending my sub flying, I used it sometimes as a reason to push limits . True punishment where there is no warm up just a lasting punishment to correct action yes I need a reason.

That said I do enjoy catching my sub's infractions. It is a high for me to watch her squirm to see her trying to talk her way out of trip to the middle of the room. The severity of the infraction will decide for me whether it is a play session or a punishment session. So enjoyable to see the expression on their faces when they have been caught for something trivial. I can see the thoughts as if they were written above their heads in a cartoon bubble " shit I can't believe he remembered" or the best "oh fuck he going to use the rod" . I love to see the giggles and dancing as the anticipation builds in their pussies, it not matter play or punishment it is there. So enjoyable is it not So to answer a question often ask by a friend No I do not need a reason to play but it is really fun to have. And for ling when you read this and before you comment you better have that butt plug in my pet.

Too open or not

When I first started to Dom it was a few years ago. In a private club as you entered you were presented the little subbies, that wished to be used as toys. Others would be in serving out fits but the ones for play would be kneeling naked and in silence awaiting selection. Each had a small ribbon attached to the clubs collar. The colour signified how extreme they were willing to go. You as a Dom had a list of what the colours meant and away you went. There were no questions, none were needed. No question on safety or limits the colour defined what the sub was willing to do. The Dom/mes were verified by the members. The one that introduced you and the owners so that club play could be intense and safe. If some one saw and inexperience Dom with a newbie sub someone would make sure the new Dom was informed to go easy. Playing was simple and fun and intense.

Now since we are a little more out of our closet we have check lists , endless conversations on safety and finding out limits. I think we spend more time talking and emailing and discussing then we do playing. Perhaps somethings should have stayed in the closet. Now of course the quantity of individuals that say they are interested or are in the lifestyle have increased but has the quality remained.

Why am I writing about this I just wonder if this was 30 years ago how many individuals that are on all the bdsm personals would have attended the Clubs and sat in naked anticipation waiting to be chosen by a Dom/me with out the knowledge nor the choice of who it would be.

Photos

Mine is dark and suggestive of evil things that go bump in the night. That is what I wanted to reflect and I think I was successful. Some will say I am hiding , well not hiding but I do want the subs that apply to be intrigued of what is behind the mask and if asked I will send a photo of my face to them. The pictures of women I have noticed are mostly artistic, daring, fun and enticing. So what is wrong with the male sub. I either see pictures of them standing with hands on hips grinning ear to ear as they show off little Willie which I am sure cause Dommes to flit and flutter right to them demanding their service, ya right . Then there is the flacet dick saying look how big it is with out an erection. The best is the flesh tower an erect mass of flesh very submissive is it not . To me it suggests horny guy can't get it anywhere else lets try the kink places.

It must be so exciting women must call each other and say hey new dick with a pic I guess it must be the only way for men to be judged. Perhaps they chat over coffee and doughnuts discussing whether or not it would fit in the doughnut whole. Well guys it has been my experience that Dommes would talk about how well the penis would do in the hot coffee not in the hole.

Some artistic work guys might prove helpful in securing a place with a Domme. Try working a bit with lighting show some body and face not one or the other. Be playful, frisky ride a horse naked if you are muscular then show photos of you working out in shorts or in the nude just be different. If you are going to wipe out your trusty sidekick then show them that it is in the service of their desires not for your pleasure. Once you are talking and if you are asked for it then send your best photo of man's idol along.

Just my thoughts

Laws and reality

What is a Dom is he the monster of all nightmares or the high fantasy of subs. Where is the line between sexual fantasy and criminal intent. If we look back and see in the past creatures of Dominance we see war criminals, dictatorships unsavory characters at best more sexual predators then those enthusiasticly pursuing extreme sexuality. So where is the line when are we the monster of society?

Some 24/7 that you read about come across as a novel best written in the Victorian era a release for a strict society or a wish for the future? Others rank closely with the monsters of recent times . My fantasies run close to a what a monster would think as normal. Kidnapping, rape, sexual torture, mind control all sorts of lovely things all those lovely things judge to be evil by society standards. I enjoy the reality of how a subs body acts to the pain I inflict upon her. I enjoy the mental manipulation that I use I enjoy the control that I have over them and I enjoy the extreme orgasm that they have one with no control once started one that explodes from the soul and not from expectations.
Is the only thing that makes me a Dom and not a monster the free choice that the sub, in the real world , has made to submit the only reason that I am not a monster. Because I did not force them against their will that is it or did I . Could we not say that I used a mental kidnapping I found some one vunerable and pushed her into the car by mental force rather then physical..
For me the line is whether or not they give up their freedom to me and the knowledge that they can ask for it back at anytime. Of course the next question would be at what time would they pass the point of no return when they no longer had the ability to function as a single being when would they loose the ability to decide?

The Grey Cup

Then end of the football season for us in the north as the two best teams(well the two that survived) with clash for the ultimate trophy a cup(no now for the jock strap). Women rejoice at this day it means that men will no longer have the excuse that the game is on.
Now during the game like our cousins to the south preparation is made as far as food for the long night and a collection of guessed carefully pick by the quality of beer they bring gather to watch the first five minutes of the game then proceed to eat drink and re-live their childhood recounting the great games and plays of the playgrounds I would now re-tell one of the tales of playing at Beurling park but this blog has not the memory for it. Then we will all rush back to the game to watch the last five minutes truly the only time the two teams show any spunk and play as we once did all out for those five minutes. The game will climax in the last 10 seconds where hail Mary is not taking any ones name in vain and all will rest on the last play.
Afterwards we will talk about this game and it's value against the others and our wives and girlfriends will gather in the kitchen with their lists of work to do and plans for tea parties will run through their heads until the chant starts. At first low then rising to in tolerable noise, Monday night foot ball, playoffs the bowl games SUPER BOWL. Thank you to our American cousins for having a later season and keeping our Sundays and Monday nights for the true weekend warriors.

Quality ( who be the judge)

Funny is it not, seems as if something is in the air, sub doubt is about. A condition that strikes the best of subs, They interpet words wronly or they devise stories that they feel is what the Dom is thinking they feel unworthy and why? Could be time of year, recent events, boredum or just the air. Why is does the sub think that they are not the quality that their master thinks of them. This has been a problem that has plagued Doms/Dommes through out time. if you tell them they are performing well they worry, be nice and you no longer like them what a crazy lifestyle is it not.
So I want to set this in stone for all subs of mine past present and future if you displease me you will know about it forget if you break the rules if I do not like your attitude or gestures or comentary in a discussion you will be informed of it. I expect you to be in top form based on conditions I decide about those conditions no one else that is the joy of owning property. yes the sub gives me control but as long as I have it I decided on how well they are performing not another Dom( I made that mistake once , not again) or book of rules nor the sub themselves.
Now as a matter of record my sub is performing her tasks and duties to the best of her ability right now whether or not she thinks so. As for a visit I wold love one but too much is going on to allow that for now I am keeping a record and will enjoy devilishly torturing her for her self doubts at a later time. I am sure that she will enjoy the sessions as much as I will but now it is healng time and family time for the holidays.
Holiday outfits hmmm I almost forgot. I think subs should wear a red ribbon around the neck bells attached to the nipples, a butt plug tail white and fluffy like a deer and of course a harness so they can pull the sled. I wonder where they could put the candy canes?

The Battle of Ottawa

In years to come many will speak of the battle few will believe it was a sea battle but as one of the few survivors it was one of the more horrific battles ever heard.

It had started with warnings from both sides as who could sleep yet keep the rest awake. The ss Lisa was first thought to be all talk but when her head was above the pillows the first salvo had been fired,. A low guttural growl shot out across the sheets toward the proud and defiant ss mornigstar. At first rattled, morningsstar gather her weapons and with rapid fire answered the ss Lisa with brave canon fire. I was in stealth mode hoping to make it through the night unscathed but at 3 am my systems were damaged it was scrapnel from the ss Lisa or a missed shot from the morningstar I did not know but I was badly damaged retreating to the kitchen I was in the middle of refueling when a chemical bomb went off. I then found the culprit . US Sir h a submarine with diesel engines choking and chugging had broke surface near the morningstar and had done me in with intermittent torpedoes. I had to retreat to the lobby where the merriment of late night revelers was like a library compared to the 615. I returned briefly for a recon mission I shower and retrieve my clothes but the battle raged and chased me from 615 for good . I have sent the story to Gordon Lightfoot he is inspired but said tht the battle was too fresh a song would open new wounds and keep the nightmares going.

Or should I just say 3 snoring one non snoring from now on. The Leather fair and nighttime party at Breathless was great fantastic scenes and enjoyable company I was a bit disappointed that a sub that I met did not show up to be played with but she had been up for 35 hours so maybe next time I will get to warm up someone ass. As for the snoring well I am enrolling in snoring 101 and will be ready next time for the sequel named " Floggers delight or Who puts Coffee mate in Sugar packages" and to my friends thank you for a fun weekend and a story that I will retell a thousand times and will slightly embellish with each telling.

I must be getting old

I think I might have had a post with this title before but I must be getting old so I do not remember if I did or not. I have slept enough this night the reason I am awake at 4:15 in the morning what woke me, thinking about things.

I sat around last night talking with my sons. In discussion I tried to inform them that even as young men sleep is occasionally needed to rest the body and mind in the past I would have told them to go to bed turn out the lights and not to get up before 7 am. Of course they would laugh now if I did they are 19 and 22, rarely see their pillows before 2 am and seldom see the sun until it is almost a memory in the afternoon on weekends. Refusing to believe it is there on week days as they are off for higher learning.

At a time when I thought I would sit and have fond memories of life I am having new experiences. I am doing things that I said I never would. Does age affect us in such a way? Our emotions are a pain in the ass and not a good pain. Next, I will be making floggers out of suede and paddles out of foam rubber. I will dress in a charcoal grey instead of black so as not to offend or scare. I will look at a nice young woman passing in front of me and say a beautiful mind of the future instead of wondering how nice it would be to beat that ass. I will ask subs if after tying them up to a cross if they are comfortable and not mean it sarcastically.

Yes, I must be getting old.

What is a Dom to do

There are in my opinion, duties a Dom is responsible for in a relation of lifestyle. To make the sub achieve the level of enjoyment they seek from you , to achieve the level of submission or slavery, to help them better themselves and to protect them from themselves and from others in the life style. All attainable in a normal lifestyle relation but not all in a long distant relation. It is very hard for you to protect them against themselves you only have words to draw their feelings out of words to judge them by very poor tactical information to go on. Many times you can be successful but to protect against others I found it to be impossible I must rely on the eyes and judgment of others third hand information at best and I have to rely on how honest my sub wishes to be without seeing in her eyes that she hold back knowledge that she is not comfortable with. The best individuals that are guarded slip once in a while but it is not through a structured email maybe a bit in a chat but rare no it is in person in heat of discussion unfortunately a pitfall in long distant relations.
ling was attacked by a paroled maniac last night she received injuries and spent the night in hospital she fought him off and the police have him in custody but there was no knight with sword and shield to protect her or strong arms to hold the injured flegeling. Pit falls are not something that is a challenge to over come they are dark pits of despair which you must claw you self out of and hope not to find another. Congratulations to ling for the show of strength and confidence in her self . Both of us are in our own pits and now must claw our way back to where we were.

Dark days

These are the days for old warriors to sit in large chairs facing the east. Their last stand filled with memories of the lives they have had. To fall in battle in such weather must have been a relief in a way not having to face the pain of victory trying to keep warm and not stave to death. Dragging the battered bodies back to the home land having the wind lash you along no if your time were near better to have lost your life in battle then on the road home freezing to death no place for you in heavens of warriors should you die pushing a cart. To face the winds with good memories, a sword in hand ready to do battle with the storms and laugh in the face of the wind. Memories of how the old warriors died would give strength to the young with warm thought and good song to keep the old warriors warm, dry and immortal. At least for the journey home.

Stables

Well a good blog morningstar here is my opinion:

For me a stable it one of the true forms of the lifestyle. There can only be one master, certainly as far as history shows us it is the only way it works for any length of time. I believe in the term property , I know now a days there is time share for condos that is for apartments. Tops and bottoms can have this if they want but I would not consider them to be Dom/Domme and sub they are just players . A sub must have one focus and they usually determine what it should be in what their fantasies are how they act and through discussion. If I provide their focus why should it bother them if I provide a different focus for someone else or the same as long as their needs are satisfied. Do you think in days of old the Gauls ask the saxons if it was okay that they had another slave what is the lifestyle based on is it not that the don/dome has the control, if the sub had two masters would not the sub have control then?
The value of the sub depends on the sub does not matter if they are in a stable or they are the only sub there are doormats in any relationship including vanilla so I do not agree that they have less value or come away with any more emotional baggage then any other relationship. A single horse pulling a cart, is it better trained than the clysdales that pull the large wagon which is the better horse no one can say for they are different so are the subs that enjoy being in a stable and those that do not. I would (and I know I am going to get my head handed to me for this one) say that slaves look more for stables while subs look more for personal relationship with a mix of both vanilla and bdsm.
I would prefer not to have to punish I prefer exploring sweet tortures and I feel that don/dome that have to wait to have reason to punish are not true Dom/Dommes are they? If they were they would do what they want as it is their property would they not? Some Dom/Dommes are happy with one others with 20 you do what makes everyone happy that is what it comes down to does it not? I do not like competition between subs I prefer well trained teams. As for tea and service yes I like it gives me pleasure. As far as stables not everyone's pleasure but it is my cup of tea.
My opinions of course but if I could, I would have twenty slaves and die happy, for an old dragon like me what better way to go than to put a damsel in distress is to put several in distress and yes I might even put a male sub in a dress ( evil grin)!

Angry

What is anger an emotion a state a disappointment in something someone or in yourself. I have always heared that you should not punish when you are angry. Yes when you at a point of blind rage you should walk away but if you are at that point you should go into a room and lock the door. During a play session there is no place for anger, I am there to see how long I can make the sub fly how many orgasms she will get.
A punishment session is different. I wish the first stroke to cause the sub a great desire to grab her ass with the knowledge she will get more if she does. I want her to concentrate on position and control that is all during the punishment and afterwardds I want her only to think why is her ass so sore and what she can do not to get that way again. The sore ass is a reminder for the next while to think before acting or not acting.

. I enjoy causing pleasure but I need anger to punish I think all need a little not much and this included the sub to be punished they should be angry at what has happened. I am a bit of a sadist and enjoy it when I hear the moans and at the end of the play session please can I have some more. During a punishment well the pleads are nice and oh "I am so sorries" are sweet the tears are added fun but it is the look of fear after the first stroke of what is in store for them cannot be replaced and stirs me on and like sweets after the meal when the last stroke falls the relief on their faces the sweat dripping after they have assumed the standing position to comtemplate their errors makes me feel all warm and nice inside like having a warm drink in front a fireplace a cold night unfortunately I still have to wait for that drink she must finish her contemplation before she moves any where and now you know why I like stables my dear friend Sir it does make service improve some what!

Scaring does bring the best out in me

Halloween has always been a lovely time for me. When I was in the darker beliefs It gave me focus a time of being close to other realms and part of that was the draw of scaring others with my beliefs. I enjoyed the fear that I saw in opposing players eyes when I step on the floor. I felt great after a good fight or hit all warm inside and the opposing fans were so much fun so brave until I came close to them when they were in reach I could see them holding themselves so that they would not pee their pants, so much fun. Most would say well he gets paid to do that , yes I did but I enjoyed it, I enjoyed the pain I inflicted and the pain I received crazy is it not. When my children were born I thought it would stop but it gave me a new source of victims no not the kids those I loved and just want to see laugh and smile. The teachers, some were weak minded bullies that tried to use their station in life as a given it was so much fun making them quiver.

Well last night brought back the joy of scaring. Brave adults jumping and screaming while their children laughed what excuses did they tell their children to prove their bravery once again as they walked away in the darkness. All because of a black cloak a covered face and a staff with a snake head. So was it me or the costume, as for the children they had questions" where are your eyes" and "do you have a face". Some wanted to touch the snake head. Parents well one while walking he child up the stairs kept saying "it is a statue" and "I hate Halloween" when I moved she shrieked so nicely, afterwards when trying to get her son to stop laughing and leave said that she leaves a light on all the time I said to her not to worry about me until there is a power failure. Ah so much fun.

I have long left the idea of this blog being a place to express myself and my feelings when it started to be read by others why because people fear things that are in the shadows, not the norm or it just scares them. Most can only handle small doses and will bring out their bravado and say this one is a strange one or it cannot be. Yet they come back for more fascinating is it not. Those that are like that I would suggest you leave a light on. Those that can laugh and mean it ,welcome.

At this time in my life I can still say that I enjoy scaring them makes me feel young again when I laughed at scary things and at those that quivered behind me. Hmmmm Halloween is only 364 days away I can hardly wait.

a repost of Saddened

A friend has asked something of me that I believe is not the right time for but I must comply with the request for protocols sake. pup has served me well and I enjoyed the journey that we have been on, short as it was. I fully understand the trials and trouble of her life, more than that I understand the needs she has at this time in her life. I wish pup all the best and I hope she finds what she is looking for in the fast current of life.

To extend this week of hell On wed I recieved news that a friend was sick On fri the news was that he passed away and on Sat that this had all happened 3 weeks ago. I would not be able to say words to him or watch his ashes pasted on his fields. It happens you loose track of time and when we last spoke busy with other things just too far and too little time. I have let some physical distractions and external pressures to interfere with my emotions causing poor judgement and in so hurt others not what I set out to do. I think age has tracked me down, I feel old this day. I think this week is a week of low communications and meditation.

Cloud
a little darker cloud today

My poor judgment

I have wronged my sub ling. I was told of an offense I did not question when it happened nor did I give ling an opportunity to explain. I went in a god like manner and arranged punishment and I was wrong to do so. I let my emotions get in the way of judgment I was sadistic instead of being a Dom. The physical pain I know ling will take and it will subside after a while, the emotional harm will not. I have in a vain attempt tried to stop the punishment but have not been able to reach her. My heart is heavy I was wrong if I could have magically take her place I would have. I feel that I violated trust given by her and I have broken rules and proper conduct of a Dom. Sorry just does not seem right in this situation but I know not of what other word or action that I could offer to repair any damage that I have caused.

A night of melancholy

Cancelled plans, news of a friend that has sadden me, a journey that has been lost, a lost weekend without the alcohol. We all have them we all get over them and move on. A time for meditation and reflection, the question: does a rock exist to be a rock or is it waiting to become sand. The answer to be contemplated only the wind and the water know.

Pitfalls

morningstar will be the first to say that I know what it is to be a brat and why. The what is easy, a brat as a sub( if you do not know by know I am a switch) is a sub that uses topping from the bottom, poor behavior and defiance to push the Dom/Domme in the direction that the sub wants to go. Why also easy, the sub grows tired of waiting for the Dom/Domme to take control of the sub either because of lack of experience, a lazy Dom/Domme or the Dom/Dommes vision of subbing is not the same as the subs but the most common reason the sub feels that they have been forgotten, that is the worse feeling a sub can have.
It creates a doubt in the subs mind about their worth in their masters eyes. It can easily destroy training and relations. I am far away from one of my subs and do not have the ability to reach over grab an ear and say that is enough so I have discovered that I have to be stricter and in contact more often. The good thing is that understand why and see the signs, the bad thing I do not get the fun of administrating the punishment myself oh well, you have to take the good with the bad guess.

Strange feelings

If it was years ago when I would accept many beliefs I would have said there was something foul about on Saturday night. Was it because my sub was a t a party for first time performing and I was a thousand miles away. I had thoughts as I was at the club what was ling doing how was she preparing what was going on it might have caused some strange feelings and lost of concentration but that would have affected only me. littleone and Sir were also affected Mistress Jane did not show she just did not feel right about the night and stayed home. Perhaps it was only Ottawa ling did not seem to be affected by it. I met some old friends and made some new ones but the spark was not there to play in us all. I was just not comfortable.
So when I am off to the next realm with sword in hand should I meet a being that takes claim to this realms creation before I strike at it I will invite it to sit and share beverage and ask questions that have built up in me since my childhood and one will be "Do you remember October Saturday in 2005 what was that all about" perhaps I might get an answer or two.

And my stallion performed

A question often asked why do I do what do I get from having subs and slaves? Is it the sex, no I would have to say that I have not had formal sex with a sub or slave in many years, orgasms is of course a different thing. Nor is it that I have a mindless object that has been broken into submission and would do anything because they want not to think. How I can best explain it is in a sense of accomplishment. That I have made an individual into what they want to be, but were scared to go there, through trust . A show horse is pretty to look at,graceful and very well trained but in a way broken they go through the steps but conquer nothing. A horse that jumps shows strength , control of fear and trust. When you get the horse to the take off point you must trust the horse that it has conquered it's fear, has trust in you and with the training will surpass the hurdle. I believe that this spirit is in all that wish to be subs or slaves it just must be found and then harnessed and in turn given enough freedom to perform to its level.

To my little pet , ling a public acknowledgement that you have surpassed your first hurdle and a gold medal is yours for this competition. I gain the accolades of other Dom/Dommes on the performance of my property and the secret I told ling there are rocks on the other side of the fence but with her ability she would clear them easily. So with the help of Miss Rese my little stallion ling flew on Saturday night and made me very proud thank you for your trust ling now tomorrow it is back to training but for now enjoy your day ling.

Rules for my party goer

From the time you are at the front Door till you leave Miss Rese's :

1. You will call her Miss Rese or Madam unless she instructs you differently
2. All Doms/Dommes present will be accorded proper use of titles and if you do not know them then Sir or Madam will be used
   
3. You will tell all that ask you are trained by CLoud of Darklight should there be a question of your behavior it should be address through Miss Rese to me
4. Always treat Doms/Dommes with respect through out the evening and should you be requested to help a Dominant by normal service such as serving drinks to them, holding plates for them, duties that would be required of a domestic you shall provide it with out question
5. Miss Rese has been granted rights as to inspection of my property total head to toe. The carrying out of the requests that I have made of her. Instruction and reprimand should it be needed along with mild punishment.( should it be needed, remember you will still have to deal with me punishment or not for any incidents or transgressions of Miss Rese's rules and mine and I will not be mild my dear)
   
6. You only take orders from Miss Rese only
7. Speak when given permission to speak only to Dominants that have acknowledge you follow the normal rules of etiquette.
   
8. You must ask permission of Miss Rese to do anything such as go to the bathroom get a drink leave the room and enter the room. Miss Rese has the right to accompany you anywhere and be with you when you do anything ie going to the bathroom She will decide when this action is needed
   
9. You are not allowed to sit on chairs you must stand until given permission to sit or kneel on the floor you can only sit on a chair should the request come through or by Miss Rese
   
10. You will help with the serving of refreshments
    
11. You will help with the clean up
12. You will present yourself with a positive attitude not hide from view but show yourself proudly as a prized treasure should you be with clothes or with out I am proud of my property so it should be of itself.
13. Smile have fun and be the submissive you dream of and most of all you are mine and I do not own door mats you have the right to say no.
    

Simply things I guess

It does not take much for me to feel better about life. Seeing a sub embrace the challenges of the life style in her every day world as ling has had to do in the past few weeks . Making a friend with some one that I have never seen spoken to or even chatted to . OOOH braiding leather and working in wood not really producing anything just loosing oneself in the work of it. Chatting with old friends from camp and hearing of the challenges faced by pup as she tries to put her life in order and doing quite well I might add. The times when it becomes hard for me to control things there is Sir and littleone that ground me immersing me in their lives to a point that I can regain my level of being that I need. It makes my world still interesting to be in.

It is so easy for us to be down with the news of the world smashing into us when we listen to the radio or watch TV. So horrible for us to see the starving children and destroyed lives. Where are the Superman and wonder women to save us from the despair of life. In my opinion they do exist I find them all the time in my daily life and it is easy for me to say wow look at what they can do and they do not wear spandex. So for me the old saying "yes Virgina there is a Santa Claus" is true, he just wears a speedo in the summer.

What is 24 years

Funny 24 years, you look at someone laughing and ask why would this dove stay with me. She does and when I ask she says because I am a good man. Good how I ask I enjoy things that she cringes with I have almost died on her three times only 2 that she know of and every visits to the doctors brings new horror stories for her to live through. I know some fond it hard to believe this women still wishes to endure life with me and my Kinks. She could find so much more. I have at times told her it was time for me to walk off and find lions and tigers and polar bears she never says no but she finds ways to tell me that I can not go yet on my walk. Today the eve of my anniversary with her of 24 years I was having a bad night she looked at me and said don't ask still too many depend on you.
I asked what would you like changed in me anything you want. She smiled and after a few seconds with out looking at me said more backrubs.
SO my friends and sweet subs looks like I will have to stay the same then, I have put the sword back on the wall and the polar bears will be safe until at least until next year. However, my toys were dusted off last week and they felt good in my hand again so your sweet cheeks are , well lets say it is open season and red is my favorite color

Devices

As you might have guessed I might be interested in the medieval times. Certainly I have been since childhood especially , and this should be no shock to you torture chambers and their devices. Wondrous usage of wood and metal and oils that surely show how evil Man could be. Lovely things such as the rack and the wheel oh and the Belgium hook. I can run through a great list before I start on the mental tortures that modern man has come up with. I have to say that man has been surpassed by yes his better half. Women had jumped ahead of us all in imagination and pain. We hobbled them in china with bound feet and forced them into corsets gave them hot wax to rip hairs from their bodies ah yes removal of hair that is where they have put us to shame. A women has come up with a fascinating way of removing hair. She put a wheel like a wood chipper with rubber grips on a motor then smiles as she drags this item across her legs and makes it seem like nothing. So getting a little older and some very soft hairs have began to develop I decide what the hell looks easy . Well the shoulder were not bad a sting but nothing too bad so I thought it might be nice to have a smooth ass once again sooo I foolishly attempted to use this device of male torture to remove the unwanted hairs . Words can not describe the joy when I did , no Domme has ever cause pain in that fashion to me nor would I let one go near me with that thing again. I will not dwell on all the words that I did use and could use I will merely tip my hat to the black widows that use this device and say that is One no thank you Ma-am.

Rolling hills

It would be nice if the lifestyle was allowed to flourish in the consensual form it is now. Slaves of all types working for their Master pleasing and being pleased. In times of danger the call would go out summoning all to his side for his protection and they would feel safe. My subs are experience life in the "real" world a very nasty place with out the safety of their Master protection because of physical distance and vanilla demands. They are both strong and will fight till they achieve what has to be done but not without pain the pain that is not tidy nor pleasant the one that drains and changes you takes the child a little further into adult hood a place not all want to be.

What can I do , sit on the side lines like an old coach and hope that the game plans and the training gives them the strength to succeed a hard time for them and a frustrating one for me not to be able to pick u sword and shield and do battle for what is mine.

Battles

This week has been one of anger and battles. I have had a share of news this week and the one pasted that caused me to be down a little . I have always treated these things as reasons to battle on and prove Doctors wrong. It is my way to process information that I do not like or want in my life. I do not believe in the negative I accept it as a possibility but search for ways I can defeat what has been given me. I tend to go quiet during his time a way of consolidating my thoughts I try to hide from my friend while I come to grips with my emotions. In public I will be louder than usually make more jokes. Should a person of good standing with me reach out and hurt our friendship I think deeply and explore what the reasons were that caused them to do such action.

Yet hurt my family. I loose my armor and my training and become a father I wish to strike out and stop the pain. Thewarrior that looses logical thought when he does not plan nor think on how to resolve he plots vengeance. He decides on what type of harm should be returned to those that inflict the pain and then he waits until revenge is the sweetess to deliver retribution. Such thoughts open your guard and allow for injury. Family must have given warriors the greatest reason for strength to fight on and yet they are what makes me the most vunerable to the outside world.

A simple medical intrusion a test on my son yes he is fine he did not feel any of it. I was the one that was wounded by it.

Civility

Civility is a base for the humiliation that is imposed upon my subs. A naked sub being called worthless cunt does not instill any feeling of value in those that I own nor does it show great intelligence in my decision to own such a being. I cannot fathom the reason to take some one on if they have no present or future value to me. So I am civil to my subs and caring I do not want to diminish the value that I have in hand. A friend after attending a work shop on humiliation was worried, that soon many people would think they know how to do humiliation. I would have to agree some what with her after a conversation that I had with a Dom this past weekend. To him humiliation was to tell his sub that she was worthless a cunt and tirade of other names and expression and would punish his because she was doing things wrong or that she was useless. He came to the point of informing me that I did not know how lucky I was to have well trained subs in front of his sub. While I took it as a compliment for myself and my subs I felt it show him in the light of a poor trainer therefore a poor Dom. I can see saying she has raw ability but I am confident with training she will come around. So who is being humiliated the sub or the Dom in that case?

Humiliation that I like to do is to expose to others how much my subs enjoy what they are doing. I know that if pup or ling were naked in front of my friends I would draw attention to all how much they like the state by pointing out the hardening nipples or how wet their shaven pussies were. I would bring colour to their cheeks by positioning them to show off more of their assets to the gathering. At this point I think they would betray themselves and would be aroused. As for punishment that occurs when they break my rules or transgress on accepted rules of etiquette.

Some Doms in my opinion need a reason to play so they must seek out the smallest of reasons to punish their subs I do not if I feel like playing with one of mine I will do so the reason is simple because I feel like it. Now there are some subs who love humiliation and being degraded I understand that but there is a point like pain where the Dom must realize that it is too much and can be damaging mentally. I would definitely include all forms of humiliation in a scene that a sub has asked of me but not in everyday use of my subs nor in the training of a sub. If I was to beat a fine hunting dog every time it returned with out prey I wonder how long it would take the dog to realize not to return so if the spirit of the dog was broken would it not loose its value or would I not be seen as a poor Dom and a destroyer of value.

A great addition to the stable

I am sitting here with a new play thing named leding, she is perfect for a stable of slaves. I would have to say that I have never met anyone so much of a pain in the ass as her, no not for me but for my subs the tasks that other subs will be force to do just to set her up will bring some to tears. Leding is from Sweden very sleek but cold like very flexible and should take a lot of punishment. Leding is turned on and off easily like flipping a switch(hmmm that could be fun about the switch) she can be very bright but right now is annoying to me. Yes it is true I bought a light fixture from Ikea called Leding and it is a pain in the ass to put up. Best done by two naked slaves standing on one chair much more fun watching the subs do it that way then me put the damm thing up. Ahh annoying one sub in Washington and one at school what is subbing coming to!

Dieting

I was handed a new diet this week an of course I am not pleased about it. It is not to loose weight or develop a great muscular body it is actually to stay as I am. Though I am a youthful 51 my body has decided to act with out regard to my feelings about my self. Parts of me have sort of gone and slow down or stopped working. Now the diet reflects this in it 's lack of taste it seems once the taste is gone then my kidneys might decide to continue working of course like other parts of me that have not cooperated over the years they may not.

Oh hum it brings an old joke to mind that ciculated when I subbed. " All parts of the body got together to see who would sub and who would be the Dom. The brain started and said I should dom since I can play mental games as well as tell the rest of you what to do and right now everyone does what it is told to do. Well all the other so called Dominant parts of the body argued and discussed this notion for days. One part of the body the truly sub part went on its work of taking care of the shit, well the anus said hey if no one can decide I can for you all ( hmmm a Dom quality). Well the laughter started and would not stop the brain told the hands to put tobassco sauce in the mouth and the throat to swallow. The stomach and kidneys and the intestines were told to leave it pass proving to all that the brain was the most dominant it would then punish the poor anus for speaking out. The anus might have been a doorway but not a doormat, it closed and would not open. The body got very sick and the brain cloudy and fuzzy.

The moral's of this story are you can want whatever you want but it is the decision in the end is never yours or Doms are the butt of sub jokes, or you do not have to be smart or important to Dom just in Control of the shit or in a room full of Doms deciding the only true decision that all can agree on is the person whose ass is waiting for a whooping. There is one more which I of course could never be(wink), and would in my opinion be demeaning to the sub anus and I would not want to upset the on part of me that works as it should. So I shall not state the obvious moral that many subs are now thinking, oh I am sorry you Doms/dommes do not know oh well the joys of being a switch.

Healing and times of peace

A friend blogged about healing. Which produced thought and review of family history or hearsay. There is not historical prove of this so do not spend endless hours seeking where the writings are for this ceremony. I do not know if this was from my Scottish, German or French heritage I was young when I was told of it, could have just been a story told to captivate the children on a winter's night , back then there was no Nintendo or videos we relied on stories of old at family gatherings.

It would seem that in years long since passed a group of knights would in the event of a death of one of them which seemed to happen often . Would gather at sunset on the highest point of land around to hold his spirit back from the heavens . There at sunset they would unsheathe their swords and hold tightly onto them as the sun faded into the lands to the west. They would not sheath them again till the last rays of sun had left the sky the story goes that this was to hold the memories and show the loyalty to their lost comrade in arms. One month later the ceremony would be repeated at sunset facing the west they again would hold their sword in their hand this time as the sunset they would sheath their swords to show the fallen comrade that all unfulfilled duties and debt was released and he could depart from this realm for the next.

Funny how we all have different ceremonies, customs and places that promote healing for individuals. The one thing that links us is the solitude of the place even when with a group of people. I have my mossy rock in a babbling brook or my mountain facing west others have secret gardens and locked doors all armor that protects and allows us to heal it allows us to take the next step with strength and conviction

Feelings

A strict old father, would that be a definition that would describe me? An individual that does not show what his feelings are? I am sitting here a Dom of two subs supposedly giving out commands and tasks. Correcting their errors through whips and chains yet why do I worry if lings singing performance went well or not. If it did not for what ever reason it would not be her that I would want to punish but those in the audience that did not appreciate what she had tried to offer to them some pleasure. I know that she was nervous and had a fear about opening herself up to the public, is that a strict Father or a Dom. It does not feel like the plantation owner.

pup is taking sometime from training to organize herself and her life. This creates strange feeling in me, she started the training but is vulnerable. A wedding is the ideal place to loose the strength that she has developed family have a way of attacking and discrediting individuals that show growth. I would guess I am growing old.

Anyway I should not worry they will do fine, they are on their way of becoming strong women so really all I have to worry about is keeping them in control. Hmmm I think it is time to make some more toys for my box perhaps a handle for my strap.

At this moment

ling has gone with her friend to shop and complete a tasks for me. she will experience embarrassment and erotic stimulus. Arranged by me through her friend Miss Rese who seems to enjoy what the night will bring. It is the closest thing to my being there that I can think of . If ling and I went to a sex shop I would enjoy making her blush. It would be interesting to put her through her paces and see how well she did. Well ling I do hope you enjoy this evening I think you are probably a little wet during the evening were you not? I am sure that will help you towards you goal of 15 push ups. I wait with anticipation to hear of the evenings events. And a big thanks to Miss Rese for her kind help in this matter.

As for pup she will miss my re-canting of stories from camp at the munch this week but I am sure she will enjoy her weekends activities. I wish you well pup and do hurry back soon I believe there is a party waiting for you at the condo when you return to me!

To both of my pets enjoy the night I will catch up with you later.

Is it nice to be feared or worried about

I have always said that I did not care if I make someone laugh or cry as long as I bring about an emotion. then I have caused someone to live a bit . At this time in my life and pup knows this I hate when someone says they like me because I am safe. What does that mean really is it I am too old in their opinion to inflict harm on them or too slow to catch them. One of my old subs called me comfortable, she did not sit for a week comfortably after that comment, yet others fear me from the day they meet me. Yes I know hard to believe some one as lovable as me could be feared but it is true.

I have received an email from a Domme who is a friend of my sub ling in it she introduced herself and said or inferred that she worried about me a bit I felt so good about that someone showing respect from so far away worried that across the miles I could inflict damage just warms me up I almost feel like I was 30 again.

The worry or fear is wise mental games are dangerous. Our lifestyle is dangerous,that for me is part of the interest, filled with mental games and controls . I have a healthy respect for safety yet I have challenged it through my life in my sports and my life. I believe that safety is a variable that must be depicted by the sub in these relations. I like brats and strong willed person because they speak up when fear gets too much I dislike those that fall to the feet of any Master with the words of servitude falling from their lips but no thought as to what they mean to a Dom.

If there was a piece of advice that I would give to a novice sub, hard limits can always be changed later if you want start with conversation and lots of questions. Be very open about your past experiences, level of experience and your fantasies no matter how embarrassing to you. Once you give over control you might get to a point of mental state where you just can't raise your hand and say teacher may I be excused.

Long distant Domming

When you have a quivering naked slave infront of you it is so easy to pick up body language and see skin inflections. If you know your slave a look in their eyes will tell you if they are hurt by words, have a clear understanding of what was said. When beating an ass you can see the movement. They move out for the stroke they are enjoying it and their hips press deeply into the bed or furniture or they try to dance away from or try to anticipate the blow then I know it is hurting. This does not mean I would stop but I would know what they were feeling.
Over the internet in just words you do not see the automatic response you get words which are chosen, time for the sub to think whether they should say it or not or what are the best words. A camera would help I guess but nothing is like seeing that naked skin reaction oh well you do your best with what you have.

Thanks to ling

I want to say a thank you to ling in a statement yesterday she said should she put down her true feeling in a blog which made me realize that since some are reading my blog which used to be hidden I have not felt secure in putting out my thoughts without worry of judgment. Thank you for reminding me of what honesty is ling.

Old warriors new battles

In our day we retire at an appropriate time some try for 55 some have to at 65 most wish to at 25. In the dark ages when did they retire when did you say okay it is not my job to defend castle and keep. The number of battles that just kept coming at them from Vikings or robbers or those close to them who seach for power. When does a warrior stop and smell the roses? Did it give them such joy or caused them to live more to lift sword and shield to defend what was theirs to defend till they could no longer stand on the field of battle. Can a warrior ever let go without a battle would it be right. I have often thought how easy it would be to lower your guard and let the sword fall or allow the volley of arrows to penetrate the defense of the shield who would know just an old warrior whose reflex slowed with age one who realized the battle was over and it was time to leave the land for the new lords to defend.

These days temptation could be great to stay in that soft warm bed a luxury they did not have, the threat is not the same anymore not clear by tunic or flag who you should battle, few foes have honour or a presence just a name. So has it changed does a warrior have the right not to put his armour on or lift sword and shield to do battle because he is tired. Where is the ice bear and dragon when you need a foe that at least will give honour to a warrior last battle . Perhaps it is best not to look for them but to imagine the mundane to be great foes like the man of la mancha and his windmills.

Words and emotions

Funny how a word one day means nothing but on another it brings the house down. What is a small amount of blood not much a paper cut but when they say 30% of kidney function is gone that drop of blood can cover the floor. The way a person feels about themselves also affects the way they interpret words. If you are worry of being left out or cast aside you might feel words are directed towards that reason. If a person does not like to make errors like a perfectionist then words wrongly used perhaps, can rip out the guts of a person even when said privately.

A wonder why there are not more wars in this world with all the words that are sent back and forth.

A comment on SAMs and brats

If a sub is a SAM or a brat they might have started that way because they did not know how to ask for a session or they enjoy the teasing it sets up the mood of being caught or they are not satisfied by the attentions of their Dom/Domme. It is not up to the sub to control these urges but up to the Dom/Domme to correct them and use them to heighten the session or punishment times. If in some peoples eyes a sub is a brat or a SAM it might well be what the Dom/Domme wants or needs to be stimulated to action. Not all Dom/Dommes want this type of sub or the behavior some enjoy it.

Saying that a brat or a SAM does not belong or is improper in the lifestyle would be like saying there is no such thing as a SWitch and we all know that cannot be true don't we! Somethings just bother me one of them is when people qualify the norm. The "norm" is not a word I would think of using in relation to our lifestyle so really the labels should tell us which side of the paddle a person likes to be on sort of speak. Not how they should act or what rules we think they should follow to be good bdsmers.

Now the real question did I just set a rule that alter the relationships of thousands on no! Have I just done what I hate the most or am I a brat or a SAM or do I and Puck have so much in common we might be one in the same and just like to cause kaos.

Ah the new age

So very simple these days with internet and cell phones pocket pagers and blackberries communication is always at your finger tips. Slaves no matter how far away always within the reach of a touch pad or keyboard. I wonder if the letter wre the only means once again how life would change. The anticipation of waiting for the post, long distant slaves might wet themselves just at the sound of the gate opening and the steps of the mail man. The gambit of emotion that would run through them awaiting a reply from their Master oh it would be great if only for one thing the post was rarely down or out of reception area.

The era I speak of vitorian would have interesting times taking a lady for a walk in the woods and when distant from the eyes of the household striping off the lacey dress and undergarments and having a slave tied to a tree being whipped. all the time the threat of someone happening upon the naked women to add to humiliation or perhaps a threat to leave her on the road for the enjoyment of the village folk. A t night back at your side acting the perfect hostess to friends and maybe unkownling to those that had seen her with much less on!

Well pup and ling we just might have to try the letter form if lack of a pc and internet problems continue. Hmmm two naked slaves in the forest waiting for the whip or worse unknown hands, fantasies are enjoyable are they not?

CLoud

The perfect place not to

On four acres of farmland you think it would be a exercise heaven. Up at dawn a walk around swimming riding quads and at night relaxing in a hot tub with a glass of wine. Well it was all there but the exercising never took place and I am stiff and sore from the drive. The weekend was shopping eating and sleeping all need to be done but in moderation not 24/7. Alas when not in control what can you do but smile and do to make others happy.

My pets seem to have done well though I have to talk to pup about her techniques in masturbation a little too many injuries . I wonder how ling will do this week with a busy schedule of her son's activities. Mirrors were good
pets now to celebrate that I have returned we will have to get back to training nipples this week lets see those close pins how many pegs can you fit on your areolas ling we will start with you. Over the next 2 days I want to know how many clothes pegs you can put on yours oh ling no masturbation for those two days.

Now pup you have to take it easy in bed I would guess so we will do the opposite for you I want you to cum 3 times for the next two days the first two times use anything you want but your fingers the last time each night use your fingers.

Oh and yes ladies blog about your experiences and do be graphic! I think I am still waiting for goals am I not I will check for other tasks that I have asked for tomorrow I am tired from the drive and my vacation you could say.

My time is at hand and the darkness embraces me

CLoud

I hope it is the weather

Age, time or weather what else can the old blame for pain. I think this time I shall choose the weather not cold enough not stormy enough just too damm nice. Laying by the pool taking the sun just too easy of a life. I need to fight against a storm and mother nature for a while to make me whole again. This easy living was interrupted by camp for a short period and I felt great now I have become the sloth that the medical profession says I should be.

My subs have inspired renewed vigor in me they challenge me in a good way I must remember the training of newbies is quite different from an experience one they both have bright intelligent minds and are or were a bit misguided but both are showing nicely. I was going to take a sabbatical from the lifestyle for a couple of months for I felt I was no longer had interest in the pursuit of it nor did I hold the attention of anyone, dear friends of Sir and littleone the exception. I still find some in the lifestyle to be children but the duo of pup and ling have rekindled an interest yes Sir you will see them soon hopefully, in all their spender good things are to wait for, you know even the Grinch has to wait to hate Christmas. littleone looks as if I will be delving into my toy box soon. Am I back well I am not Sedaka but I have not retired yet.

CLoud

Time an old enemy

Today was a vanilla day as was last night. My daughter and wife did the street sale on St Laurent Street which means 5 minutes of shopping and 2 hours of eating and discussion. Today I did the sale again this time with my wife and mother in law in tow. I mainly went for the swords and knives I had seen the night before. Upon close examination they proved a disappointment they were show pieces and would fall apart if they were used.
The day pasted quickly before I realized it was 5 pm. A Domme friend of mine had asked me to go to Le chateaux with her I thought this was an excellent time to see how well pup had learned the rules. This was not to be I was too tired and pup did not have a lift home I do not allow my ladies to go out with out a secured transport back. I know pup might have been upset but it was for the better. Another time pup and I am sure the treat I offered to you might give you a little more release. Though I do miss not seeing my old friend and pup I needed to rest.

Unfortunately I no longer have the ability to get around as easily as I used to so a lot of long distant training will have to do for both ling and pup. I see more positive statements from both of them and I am pleased to an extent. I will be happier when I have both of them on a good exercise schedule and eating right I know the next week will be hard for pup with school starting and all the fun that will cause and ling has had a hectic weekend but it is now that rules and routines must be established before they overwhelm themselves and start to slip so ladies it might be a harder week ahead than they think. Tomorrow I am off to the old port and back in time to the 18 century of old Montreal. Next weekend I am off to Michigan for family affairs then back here for so peace and quiet and training for the ladies so little time so much to do. Companion or enemy, time is there to befuddle plans and put stress in our lives is it not, what other reason would we record it with such diligence .

CLoud

Needles and pins

Today was boring I went off to the hospital for tests and laughed at some of the people taking the blood and performing the tests. They showed genuine concern that they were hurting me. They poked with small needles and electrodes. I have just seen several workshops at camp on how to cause discomfort shall we say and they think they caused some pain. Well that was good for a laugh something did put me on pins and needles today my subs asked me how they are to ask about my health and I felt compelled to give them information that I do not usually share so easily. It was not much but more than usual strange a time of weakness? Not usual for me at all must have been the long day at the hospital both are coming along at their own pace this weekend though I think I should have all their hard limits so we can advance in the training a bit. The next few weeks should be interesting.

CLoud

Last days of summer

My friend is sad with the last days so evidently here. I understand it but I am not that sad yes I hate the memories of going back to school but autumn is a time of peace for me now. A time when things must be put away for next year, gardens put to sleep and hopefully they will wake again. Old things trotted out like Halloween decorations and corn pots for roasting. Walks in the forest with it summer foliage creating a crunch as we step. It is a time to put things to sleep for a while but keep the memories for sitting in front of the fireplace with friends on chilly days. Every day creates new memories for me to hold, were we to stay in one time that is all what we would have over and over again. No for me I had a good summer but time to close the pool and make ready for the snow falls of winter you must find enjoyment in what you have.

I am sure with the 2 new subs I will be kept busy this winter and enjoying it.


HO HO Ho opps did I say that one must be carefull not to wake the Grinch up too early.

CLoud

Garage sales

Why is it that you have a garage sale and the house seems to be in more of a mess then before? I seem to have collect more merchandise for the next garage sale then gotten rid of. Now I will have to clean up my garage before I get back to work on my projects. Sir and littleone came over during the sale littleone did well selling off her tent and some stuff to me. Sir proved that a lounge chair can be a formidable advisary thought he did win the day over it at time it was an epic struggle. If making money at these things is important I would not have done it but having a good laugh with friends is then I did well yesterday.

Are we ever totally honest

I always state it as almost as a threat but can anyone be totally honest? I know that I do not allow anyone very close to me. I do believe that knowledge is one of the greatest treasures in the world . Like the splitting of the atom it is also the greatest weapon in the world. A future trainee offer a truth about her appearance it must have been extremely hard sending the email and waiting for a reply must have been horrible as she mentioned that she would understand if that type was not for me. Very brave of her to do so. Size is not important as much as how you feel about yourself.

pup is also doing great not one no or but she does what she has been told I am pleased and look forward to displaying her for my friends yes pup you can blush and squirm but it will happen so keep up the stretching my pet. Oh pup you will love this news I found my old hunting knife I intend to get it all fixed up for you I know that this news will make you gush a bit it okay you are allowed to this time. pup enjoys knife play.

Now for a truth from me. I will never offer information about myself but I answer all questions honestly. Now time to get on with the real life of bdsm! Yes littleone that was for you there will always be something in the shadow it is my nature after all I am from a clan called Darklight we tend to keep lots of things inside for the protection of others and our selves that is why I so admire those that offer me trust..

What makes you

What makes a person finally trust or step over the edge and go for it. I had a little experience with a young pup that had not been able to make up her mind as to whether she wanted training for months all of a sudden last night was it she performed well as instructed and I have left her with the question as to whether we continue the training or not. Why last night what was so right? Could have been because she was horny or did she finally just need to be told what to do? Hard to understand at what point a decision is made is it not?

Bruce Lee

I was watching a movie tonight and realized something. I had coffee with an old friend and the discussion fell into that my expectations of people are too high or really that I do not give them much of a chance. Which to me means that I accept people for what they say they are I do not ask for proof other than them being able to perform up to the level that they say they can. If my only contact with Bruce Lee was his movies would I be able to accept him as a true master of his arts? In the movies his kicks were to the head not a place aimed for by those into the martial arts. In his book it was a different thing his movies only showed he had the speed to do what he said in the book so I do not need to fight Bruce Lee to know that I would not last long. His movies have shown me that he has the skill that he wrote about he just altered it for the masses and to sell films.

I believe that all you have to judge a person at first is their words and so honesty is very important to me honesty with me and with themselves. So yes morningstar I do judge quickly when people do not live up to their bravado and I do not give them much slack. Then again people who show themselves by deeds and actions I hold close and will fight to keep them as friends. So yes I do discard quickly, and it might mean that I will not find all that I look for but I have found friends in you and your Sir far more important to me than those who do not live up to their own expectations.

Now as far as time off from the lifestyle yes I will relax my efforts however I do have a new friend and we will see how that evolves. As for not having coffee with you, pish posh that I would not give up nor would I stop communicating with your Sir just means I will listen to the birds a little longer not a secret garden but maybe quiet place where dreams are easier to realize or maybe the dreams are less complicated.

I seem void of thought

I do not know if it is the time of year or the heat but I am void of thought. The days are becoming long and filled with nothing. I am truly wanting for camp to stimulate me in one way or another. The workshops look interesting and the friendship of kindred souls is in need. I feel that in importance it would have to be that I look forward to the end of camp. All my commitments will have been honoured for this year and I will take time to relax and watch life and think for a while. Important for me to do so review the year and see what I have done not to judge good or bad but to see if I have had effect on others. I have always believed that it is important to do so, to change a life a bit. It means that you were here and did not sit back. The only way to live on is in the memories of others is it not?

The one who is young to this life and has sort of asked for help from me will be my only concern after camp. I do like trying new things and a long distant lifestyle could be interesting on how to overcome barriers and give proper training, at the very least we will have fun discussions for we share the same type of vanilla reality and bdsm desires.
As for my old friends I will still be here writing maybe not quite as active in person but probably in thought.

A decision

A new found friend is in a similar position that I was in many years ago. She had some experience in the lifestyle but put it away to be normal and have a marriage and family. The dark desires will sit for a while but they will surface at sometime. They have awoken in her and now is the time she might be able to put them back to sleep for awhile longer or release then and find her self.. I have seen two questions from her that troubled me in the past. Will this change me if I seek my desires and will I be able to keep my vanilla relationships if I go further.

The first question for me has to answered yes it will change you but not for the necessarily for the worse. It releases tension from your repression of desire it allows some calm to develop in your search for your self. Drawbacks are new tension because you do not find what you need because of time restraints or restraints put on you by your vanilla relationships. Worse if you find the perfect mate but you do not fit their needs. Then there is the tug of reality and other relationships.

Keeping other vanilla relationships depend on you and your mate what both are willing to accept. I have what I call a dove for a wife she has no interest in the lifestyle and cringes when some friends are over and something is mentioned about the lifestyle. That said I cringe when I hear her family is preparing a party. The good thing is that we give each other the time needed for our needs and desires and we are together for those things we like to share. So really it is up to each situation there is no key or way that is set in stone to have your cake and eat it to you have to find it through experience and with the help of friends. I have a few very good ones and that is all I can offer to my new friend , friendship above all else.

So if you were naked

SO if you stood naked to the world and could only cover one area what would it be what would you hide from public view. What do we covet as extra personal or what would you show off what are you most pleased with. Inner thoughts would you hide them and expose the rest of you to scrutiny.

Would a sub prefer to be beaten in front of others instead of being reprimanded? Would a sub do anything before being tied down and taken inn front of others? Does the sub feel that masturbation in front of others that consent to be degrading? If a sub had to stand in a room in the middle of the floor and be caressed and touched would she?. Funny all that a sub is willing to do there is always something that can crush and destroy all the training one thing that the sub might do but the disgust will linger and ferment until her spirit has been destroyed or the relation has ended. As a Dom there has always been one that is honesty for me. Without it I cannot be nor can the sub be . I covet those that offer honesty before all else . If I ask a question it is okay to say I cannot answer that at this moment rather than tell me what you think I want to hear. Out of all offences this one I give only 1 error in judgment to my future and owned subs. I think that is fair for I give only honestly, it is the bases for honour.

Respect Consensual and good decisions

An interesting post from a friend. Where do we draw the line Is running naked sown a street at 2 am with the chance of meeting someone being very slim then being surprised by those people walking their dog or coming home from a party is that consensual? The party goers might have a good laugh and rover might bite your ass but there was no consent? Consent is or must be verbalized in some way the argument of they do not have to look well that does not cut it with me if I am surprised by a naked guy at 2 am I am going to watch him very carefully and not for the pleasure of it . He might just have a gun and is going to shoot the next person that does not look at him. More so if a sub goes into a vanilla situation and masturbates in front of vanilla people that is non consensual they were not asked if they wanted to see that nor did they have any idea that in a park they would see anything more than a Robin red breast. So for me totally wrong by those that did that.

However for some the idea having to do this is quite a charge, imagine if this was acceptable behavior. What a humiliation for the sub, if they were into humiliation what a rush. If they were not what a punishment or what a commitment from the sub to the master to display one self in such a fashion. There are many ways of achieving this though, taking a slave into the forest and stripping the sub then blindfold the sub all done in a secluded area or near a path way but out of plain sight would give such a rush. Arranging a group of people to meet in a wooded area without the knowledge of the sub but with their consent would certainly do it for me. Many ways to give the same rush to the sub but is it the same for a Dom/Domme? What turns the Dom/Domme on is it they feel and enjoy the shame and embarrassment of the sub or do they look for the surprise and disgust that might come from the vanillas that were surprised by the situation of the sub? If the latter is the reason then is that really a Dom/Domme?

One other way that I look at it if you take a sub into a public area strip them and bent them over and offered a belt to passer bys to give a wack to a sub how many takers would you have? At the gay pride parade probably a few but from commuters rushing to work I doubt if you would get any interest most likely sneers. In my opinion the reason would be it is just not the place for it. A Dom/Domme is entrusted with a commitment some times that means pushing limits but also making good decisions. A Dom/Domme must also show respect for other lifestyles otherwise they cannot ask respect for theirs nor in my opinion would they be able to retain the respect of the sub.

Public or private punishment

First what is a punishment? It can be a verbal reprimand up to a punishment task to corporal punishment.

A punishment session something that is scheduled almost weekly allows me to take care of the little infractions that I was not present for or that were small in nature to be put off till later. Such as not shaving or improper presentation or greeting when online or outside of the lifestyle. I would not invite anyone to these it would not do anything except to comfort the sub someone who might be there might not have the same interpretation that I do and plead for clemency. It anything it would be a distraction to the reason of the session. I do verbally reprimand for all offences as soon as they come apparent to me in public or not a statement from me in public stating " I am not happy and we will speak of this later" means I will tell you later the time is inappropriate now you will receive punishment for it on the punishment night . I do believe that verbal reprimand done right is a must for the proper schooling of a sub/slave.

If the infraction caused me embarrassment in public such as a major break on protocol or constant lateness when meeting my friends or others then the punishment might very well happen in front of them . Not in public but with guests present to show that I have taken the slave to task for the insult to them and at that session there would be some humiliation dealt out in tasks to do for my guest and the session would last longer than the norm of course because the gravity of the offence.

So for me there might be times when punishment is delivered in full view of other's in the lifestyle is that public?

Sadist or not this is what I do

Am I a sadist? I enjoy play session but more I enjoy the punishment session. The play sessions are carefully crafted to excite and stimulate in steps care is given to warm up. Caresses and nurturing all important I like to make it last till the sub is exhausted and them 10 more minutes of sweet torture.

Ah, the punishment session is very charged for me. The subs fear comes through their eyes and implores me not to . The power that I feel knowing that no matter what is said or done the punishment must go through. The position I choose for them is one that is difficult for them to hold in the best of times. No bondage or tying down no they must hold that position by them selves to realize that this is not play. Coming out of position more then a recoil from the stroke adds two strokes to the punishment. The time is always after they have been naked for a while and if it is not cold enough to give their skin a clamminess I aid the issue with light sprays of water. The item I choose has really been chosen by the sub the one they dislike the most, not by what they have said to me but how they react in play sessions with it. They know the number of strokes they will receive they must state what they did wrong and apologize after every stroke. The last stroke is always the worse to bring them to the point of wishing they had not disappointed me. I enjoy the quivering of their bodies as they must not touch the affected area until I say that they can. Standing in the middle of the room will a bright light on them to show their shame is the best way to drive home the point the last indignity vinegar or alcohol put on the affected area they can dance around but still not touch, then they are scrubbed down by me one of the few times wash them then. They are then allowed to take an after punishment position and sit quietly and read.

I must say I have few repeat offences once they have gotten to a punishment stage but there are always new ones. So am I a sadist or do I just enjoy my work. Next blog will have my views on punishment in private or public.

http://miki.mon-blog.org/index.php/2005/04 This is a blog that I felt has an interesting writing style about the lifestyle . They raised a question with the last blog. Which of the sexes are instinctively Dominant? Is it instinctive or was it? Has it changed? Does it have to do with the physical, size and strength or was is learnt ? Time to ponder

CLoud

Well I have spoken of definitions and protocols

What protocols do I follow, simple etiquette for one Very simple we were taught them when we were kids they must be present at all times in a sub or a slave and yes in a Dom or a Master. I will use the word slave to mean sub, slave and property. Labels that have little meaning except to say they serve.

The slave will first write the contract outlining those things that the slave cannot provide .

• slaves are always attentive to their master and the masters wishes, slaves are there to serve the desires of the Master.
• slaves must follow the code of etiquette set down by their Master
• slaves cannot refuse any command of the Master that has been agreed to in the contract
• slaves will be punished for rudeness, underachievement, not showing proper respect, dishonesty, lack of care of themselves and improper disclosure.
  

Master

• The Master will use and abuse the slave as per contract and will dictate what the slave is to wear in the presence of the Master where and when sessions will take place. The Master will decide what the slave is allowed to wear and do when it does not interfere with work ,family or health
• The Master will keep the slave from undue harm
• The Master will see that the slaves needs are met for good health in all areas of life.
  

Simple rules I feel for both Master and slave. The rules of etiquette or protocols are far more detailed and I do not know if a blog is the proper place for them they detail situations of what is expected and what is desired. I usually deliver them a few at a time during training so that the slave is not overwhelmed after a while they should be second nature and yes they contain such things as how to walk the posture of a slave to how to address those in the lifestyle and house rules of friends. So this is what a future slave and I would discuss on the first meeting

Refreshing some one who thinks

I hold on to my ideals because I believe in codes of conduct and honour I have a strong passion for medieval time, for the samurai codes for etiquette and for politeness. Much like a chocolate cake with chocolate from the Holland the taste cannot be duplicated in a May west, so I am willing to wait for my cake and live on the memories of it's taste will carry me through.

"This doesn't leave much, if any, room for adding bits of yourself"

. As for adding bits of me I do all the time in how I service the lifestyle by fulfilling the needs of my subs or slaves and how I give duty to those that rank above me an artist that duplicates a great work the artist doing the duplication will only be as famous as his duplication is close to the original. The lifestyle is a simple yet beautiful work in my opinion. Changing the lifestyle would for me be like the cutting of Bonsia trees. It takes great study before the snip a bad cut and it will be with you for years to come.

One of the reasons I responded to you amy, is that you were polite in your comment quietly wishing for further explanation yet not asking, rather than a confrontation of my ideas or demanding knowledge through a formal question. So I am very happy to respond to you any time. For a novice you do not fall all over your feet when writing down your thoughts. I wonder if you have started your journey with some one or is this just part of your character, questions for you, not really, just thoughts about those that stand in the shadows.


Take in all that you can it is a wonderful journey, again, thank you for reading my thoughts

CLoud

A voice enters the shadows

Well a quite voice has enter my realm and stood up for what she believes in. A shock that someone reads what I write, can formulate their own opinion and expressed it with politeness. Though I see that you still hide I hope that you return and read this amy.
"If maintaining the older ways is important to you then that is something you can fit into your relationship, but I don't think it is fair to cast away the lifestyle because it doesn't totally fit into your expectations."

Well amy I speak of expectations based on experience not on fantasy and
"fitting it into my relations" are not words that I would use, bdsm is the relationship and that is one point where we differ in opinion it is not kinky sex but a matter of duty and honour to me a way of life you could say. When you say it is not fair to cast away the lifestyle I am not thinking of casting it away like old clothes I have great respect for it and those that hold it close to their hearts I meant I was thinking of not being active because what I expect and want in my opinion has gone the way of the dinosaur. One way to describe it would be the difference of attending a royal ball in the seventeen hundreds and going to a disco yes there is dancing but it is just not the same, for me at least.

" i think the lifestyle has evolved into something so much more than it used to be"

yes it has evolved but it has not kept the basic etiquette that is need for a group of individuals to say that they share a lifestyle. Evolution is fine I do not expect to live in medieval times but the evolution that I see is more of replacement because those that are coming on, the future shall we say, cannot handle the duties, rules,expectations and etiquette necessary for the lifestyle to exist. An example sports rules are always being re-thought to keep the masses interested not to keep the sport pure . In golf once you struck the ball you did not touch it again until it went into the whole, now well I will say no more about golf.

"It gives each couple a chance to build the lifestyle that works best for them.....why would that take away from the lifestyle"

In my opinion you build a relationship on a lifestyle on the rules and etiquette of that lifestyle or you build on your own rules and etiquette. If you say that you build it on a lifestyle then removing parts of the lifestyle that you do not wish means destroy the lifestyle and I am against that. That is the weakness that I find in the lifestyle now like children not eating the peas but still getting the desert. You must work for the desert to truly enjoy otherwise it is just part of the meal, common place nothing special and what do you do then?

amy your words allowed me to peruse what I have been thinking for years and now expressed thank you I hope that your journey continues and your relationship blossoms in to all what you need from the bdsm lifestyle, as for my rantings and ravings well that is what the dinosaurs do before the comet strikes.

enjoy the day

Expectations

I can see that expectations based on fantasy is a not a good idea, they will seldom be met and frustration will set in.

I have based my expectations on experience from a different place and time and I see that the differences are so great that I am disillusioned with the reality. When first brought in to the life style there was clear order in it they were those that were the masters and those that served. Safety was not a question it was expected the poor Master that allowed something to go wrong would loose all but the most loyal. Once the contract was signed there was no asking of the slave what they were not willing to give over in the contract and no refusal from the slave to anything that was not reserved in the contract. Then again the people involved were of a different breed. They still had to hide much more then they do today they were the true thrill seekers you could say in the lifestyle. Yes many have come out and said we are of this lifestyle but they are of a water down lifestyle not the ones that inspired books and fantasies. Ones that are trying to be acceptable, palatable to the non lifestylers.

I will say that a few friends try to live to the protocols but are forced in many ways to change them for others. I could see changing them for those not in the life style but not for those who are supposedly in the lifestyle. I saw a sub slave what ever you want to call them sit on a chair when there was a Dom standing, the same sub sat on the furniture in the nude with no thought to bring a towel or ask for one and no reason why he could not sit on the floor. I do not see the reward in such actions nor do I understand the non-action of their Dom/Domme.

I believe that this lack of commitment by those in the lifestyle gives into the decay of the lifestyle and not the betterment of it. It could be because the masses can now enter it is not reserved for those that had all the other experiences and needed more that something was missing. Many people are entering it for the wrong reasons in my opinion, those that cannot find love, they think it is the trend now and in a few years it will be bell bottoms again, and the worse are those who use it to say look at me look what I can do well I hate to tell those people is that some of us look at you and laugh you are not doing anything that others have not allowed you to do you will never be masters only mastered.

When we hid in darkshadows the few were far more committed to the lifestyle than to the show which it has become. This realization has create doubt in continuing in this lifestyle it has changed too much and this dinosaur is tired of the evolution. Since I cannot seem to find a sub or a Domme that has the same experience, commitment and desire that I do , I am starting to think about sitting back and just watching the birds and the clouds and remembering days gone by. I shall soon make one further attempt to find a like minded individual or a group that have the same ideas that I do until then I shall honour those commitments that I have until after the camp then take time to think and decide how to seek what I look for.