Battles

This week has been one of anger and battles. I have had a share of news this week and the one pasted that caused me to be down a little . I have always treated these things as reasons to battle on and prove Doctors wrong. It is my way to process information that I do not like or want in my life. I do not believe in the negative I accept it as a possibility but search for ways I can defeat what has been given me. I tend to go quiet during his time a way of consolidating my thoughts I try to hide from my friend while I come to grips with my emotions. In public I will be louder than usually make more jokes. Should a person of good standing with me reach out and hurt our friendship I think deeply and explore what the reasons were that caused them to do such action.

Yet hurt my family. I loose my armor and my training and become a father I wish to strike out and stop the pain. Thewarrior that looses logical thought when he does not plan nor think on how to resolve he plots vengeance. He decides on what type of harm should be returned to those that inflict the pain and then he waits until revenge is the sweetess to deliver retribution. Such thoughts open your guard and allow for injury. Family must have given warriors the greatest reason for strength to fight on and yet they are what makes me the most vunerable to the outside world.

A simple medical intrusion a test on my son yes he is fine he did not feel any of it. I was the one that was wounded by it.

Civility

Civility is a base for the humiliation that is imposed upon my subs. A naked sub being called worthless cunt does not instill any feeling of value in those that I own nor does it show great intelligence in my decision to own such a being. I cannot fathom the reason to take some one on if they have no present or future value to me. So I am civil to my subs and caring I do not want to diminish the value that I have in hand. A friend after attending a work shop on humiliation was worried, that soon many people would think they know how to do humiliation. I would have to agree some what with her after a conversation that I had with a Dom this past weekend. To him humiliation was to tell his sub that she was worthless a cunt and tirade of other names and expression and would punish his because she was doing things wrong or that she was useless. He came to the point of informing me that I did not know how lucky I was to have well trained subs in front of his sub. While I took it as a compliment for myself and my subs I felt it show him in the light of a poor trainer therefore a poor Dom. I can see saying she has raw ability but I am confident with training she will come around. So who is being humiliated the sub or the Dom in that case?

Humiliation that I like to do is to expose to others how much my subs enjoy what they are doing. I know that if pup or ling were naked in front of my friends I would draw attention to all how much they like the state by pointing out the hardening nipples or how wet their shaven pussies were. I would bring colour to their cheeks by positioning them to show off more of their assets to the gathering. At this point I think they would betray themselves and would be aroused. As for punishment that occurs when they break my rules or transgress on accepted rules of etiquette.

Some Doms in my opinion need a reason to play so they must seek out the smallest of reasons to punish their subs I do not if I feel like playing with one of mine I will do so the reason is simple because I feel like it. Now there are some subs who love humiliation and being degraded I understand that but there is a point like pain where the Dom must realize that it is too much and can be damaging mentally. I would definitely include all forms of humiliation in a scene that a sub has asked of me but not in everyday use of my subs nor in the training of a sub. If I was to beat a fine hunting dog every time it returned with out prey I wonder how long it would take the dog to realize not to return so if the spirit of the dog was broken would it not loose its value or would I not be seen as a poor Dom and a destroyer of value.

A great addition to the stable

I am sitting here with a new play thing named leding, she is perfect for a stable of slaves. I would have to say that I have never met anyone so much of a pain in the ass as her, no not for me but for my subs the tasks that other subs will be force to do just to set her up will bring some to tears. Leding is from Sweden very sleek but cold like very flexible and should take a lot of punishment. Leding is turned on and off easily like flipping a switch(hmmm that could be fun about the switch) she can be very bright but right now is annoying to me. Yes it is true I bought a light fixture from Ikea called Leding and it is a pain in the ass to put up. Best done by two naked slaves standing on one chair much more fun watching the subs do it that way then me put the damm thing up. Ahh annoying one sub in Washington and one at school what is subbing coming to!

Dieting

I was handed a new diet this week an of course I am not pleased about it. It is not to loose weight or develop a great muscular body it is actually to stay as I am. Though I am a youthful 51 my body has decided to act with out regard to my feelings about my self. Parts of me have sort of gone and slow down or stopped working. Now the diet reflects this in it 's lack of taste it seems once the taste is gone then my kidneys might decide to continue working of course like other parts of me that have not cooperated over the years they may not.

Oh hum it brings an old joke to mind that ciculated when I subbed. " All parts of the body got together to see who would sub and who would be the Dom. The brain started and said I should dom since I can play mental games as well as tell the rest of you what to do and right now everyone does what it is told to do. Well all the other so called Dominant parts of the body argued and discussed this notion for days. One part of the body the truly sub part went on its work of taking care of the shit, well the anus said hey if no one can decide I can for you all ( hmmm a Dom quality). Well the laughter started and would not stop the brain told the hands to put tobassco sauce in the mouth and the throat to swallow. The stomach and kidneys and the intestines were told to leave it pass proving to all that the brain was the most dominant it would then punish the poor anus for speaking out. The anus might have been a doorway but not a doormat, it closed and would not open. The body got very sick and the brain cloudy and fuzzy.

The moral's of this story are you can want whatever you want but it is the decision in the end is never yours or Doms are the butt of sub jokes, or you do not have to be smart or important to Dom just in Control of the shit or in a room full of Doms deciding the only true decision that all can agree on is the person whose ass is waiting for a whooping. There is one more which I of course could never be(wink), and would in my opinion be demeaning to the sub anus and I would not want to upset the on part of me that works as it should. So I shall not state the obvious moral that many subs are now thinking, oh I am sorry you Doms/dommes do not know oh well the joys of being a switch.

Healing and times of peace

A friend blogged about healing. Which produced thought and review of family history or hearsay. There is not historical prove of this so do not spend endless hours seeking where the writings are for this ceremony. I do not know if this was from my Scottish, German or French heritage I was young when I was told of it, could have just been a story told to captivate the children on a winter's night , back then there was no Nintendo or videos we relied on stories of old at family gatherings.

It would seem that in years long since passed a group of knights would in the event of a death of one of them which seemed to happen often . Would gather at sunset on the highest point of land around to hold his spirit back from the heavens . There at sunset they would unsheathe their swords and hold tightly onto them as the sun faded into the lands to the west. They would not sheath them again till the last rays of sun had left the sky the story goes that this was to hold the memories and show the loyalty to their lost comrade in arms. One month later the ceremony would be repeated at sunset facing the west they again would hold their sword in their hand this time as the sunset they would sheath their swords to show the fallen comrade that all unfulfilled duties and debt was released and he could depart from this realm for the next.

Funny how we all have different ceremonies, customs and places that promote healing for individuals. The one thing that links us is the solitude of the place even when with a group of people. I have my mossy rock in a babbling brook or my mountain facing west others have secret gardens and locked doors all armor that protects and allows us to heal it allows us to take the next step with strength and conviction

Feelings

A strict old father, would that be a definition that would describe me? An individual that does not show what his feelings are? I am sitting here a Dom of two subs supposedly giving out commands and tasks. Correcting their errors through whips and chains yet why do I worry if lings singing performance went well or not. If it did not for what ever reason it would not be her that I would want to punish but those in the audience that did not appreciate what she had tried to offer to them some pleasure. I know that she was nervous and had a fear about opening herself up to the public, is that a strict Father or a Dom. It does not feel like the plantation owner.

pup is taking sometime from training to organize herself and her life. This creates strange feeling in me, she started the training but is vulnerable. A wedding is the ideal place to loose the strength that she has developed family have a way of attacking and discrediting individuals that show growth. I would guess I am growing old.

Anyway I should not worry they will do fine, they are on their way of becoming strong women so really all I have to worry about is keeping them in control. Hmmm I think it is time to make some more toys for my box perhaps a handle for my strap.

At this moment

ling has gone with her friend to shop and complete a tasks for me. she will experience embarrassment and erotic stimulus. Arranged by me through her friend Miss Rese who seems to enjoy what the night will bring. It is the closest thing to my being there that I can think of . If ling and I went to a sex shop I would enjoy making her blush. It would be interesting to put her through her paces and see how well she did. Well ling I do hope you enjoy this evening I think you are probably a little wet during the evening were you not? I am sure that will help you towards you goal of 15 push ups. I wait with anticipation to hear of the evenings events. And a big thanks to Miss Rese for her kind help in this matter.

As for pup she will miss my re-canting of stories from camp at the munch this week but I am sure she will enjoy her weekends activities. I wish you well pup and do hurry back soon I believe there is a party waiting for you at the condo when you return to me!

To both of my pets enjoy the night I will catch up with you later.

Is it nice to be feared or worried about

I have always said that I did not care if I make someone laugh or cry as long as I bring about an emotion. then I have caused someone to live a bit . At this time in my life and pup knows this I hate when someone says they like me because I am safe. What does that mean really is it I am too old in their opinion to inflict harm on them or too slow to catch them. One of my old subs called me comfortable, she did not sit for a week comfortably after that comment, yet others fear me from the day they meet me. Yes I know hard to believe some one as lovable as me could be feared but it is true.

I have received an email from a Domme who is a friend of my sub ling in it she introduced herself and said or inferred that she worried about me a bit I felt so good about that someone showing respect from so far away worried that across the miles I could inflict damage just warms me up I almost feel like I was 30 again.

The worry or fear is wise mental games are dangerous. Our lifestyle is dangerous,that for me is part of the interest, filled with mental games and controls . I have a healthy respect for safety yet I have challenged it through my life in my sports and my life. I believe that safety is a variable that must be depicted by the sub in these relations. I like brats and strong willed person because they speak up when fear gets too much I dislike those that fall to the feet of any Master with the words of servitude falling from their lips but no thought as to what they mean to a Dom.

If there was a piece of advice that I would give to a novice sub, hard limits can always be changed later if you want start with conversation and lots of questions. Be very open about your past experiences, level of experience and your fantasies no matter how embarrassing to you. Once you give over control you might get to a point of mental state where you just can't raise your hand and say teacher may I be excused.

Long distant Domming

When you have a quivering naked slave infront of you it is so easy to pick up body language and see skin inflections. If you know your slave a look in their eyes will tell you if they are hurt by words, have a clear understanding of what was said. When beating an ass you can see the movement. They move out for the stroke they are enjoying it and their hips press deeply into the bed or furniture or they try to dance away from or try to anticipate the blow then I know it is hurting. This does not mean I would stop but I would know what they were feeling.
Over the internet in just words you do not see the automatic response you get words which are chosen, time for the sub to think whether they should say it or not or what are the best words. A camera would help I guess but nothing is like seeing that naked skin reaction oh well you do your best with what you have.

Thanks to ling

I want to say a thank you to ling in a statement yesterday she said should she put down her true feeling in a blog which made me realize that since some are reading my blog which used to be hidden I have not felt secure in putting out my thoughts without worry of judgment. Thank you for reminding me of what honesty is ling.

Old warriors new battles

In our day we retire at an appropriate time some try for 55 some have to at 65 most wish to at 25. In the dark ages when did they retire when did you say okay it is not my job to defend castle and keep. The number of battles that just kept coming at them from Vikings or robbers or those close to them who seach for power. When does a warrior stop and smell the roses? Did it give them such joy or caused them to live more to lift sword and shield to defend what was theirs to defend till they could no longer stand on the field of battle. Can a warrior ever let go without a battle would it be right. I have often thought how easy it would be to lower your guard and let the sword fall or allow the volley of arrows to penetrate the defense of the shield who would know just an old warrior whose reflex slowed with age one who realized the battle was over and it was time to leave the land for the new lords to defend.

These days temptation could be great to stay in that soft warm bed a luxury they did not have, the threat is not the same anymore not clear by tunic or flag who you should battle, few foes have honour or a presence just a name. So has it changed does a warrior have the right not to put his armour on or lift sword and shield to do battle because he is tired. Where is the ice bear and dragon when you need a foe that at least will give honour to a warrior last battle . Perhaps it is best not to look for them but to imagine the mundane to be great foes like the man of la mancha and his windmills.

Words and emotions

Funny how a word one day means nothing but on another it brings the house down. What is a small amount of blood not much a paper cut but when they say 30% of kidney function is gone that drop of blood can cover the floor. The way a person feels about themselves also affects the way they interpret words. If you are worry of being left out or cast aside you might feel words are directed towards that reason. If a person does not like to make errors like a perfectionist then words wrongly used perhaps, can rip out the guts of a person even when said privately.

A wonder why there are not more wars in this world with all the words that are sent back and forth.

A comment on SAMs and brats

If a sub is a SAM or a brat they might have started that way because they did not know how to ask for a session or they enjoy the teasing it sets up the mood of being caught or they are not satisfied by the attentions of their Dom/Domme. It is not up to the sub to control these urges but up to the Dom/Domme to correct them and use them to heighten the session or punishment times. If in some peoples eyes a sub is a brat or a SAM it might well be what the Dom/Domme wants or needs to be stimulated to action. Not all Dom/Dommes want this type of sub or the behavior some enjoy it.

Saying that a brat or a SAM does not belong or is improper in the lifestyle would be like saying there is no such thing as a SWitch and we all know that cannot be true don't we! Somethings just bother me one of them is when people qualify the norm. The "norm" is not a word I would think of using in relation to our lifestyle so really the labels should tell us which side of the paddle a person likes to be on sort of speak. Not how they should act or what rules we think they should follow to be good bdsmers.

Now the real question did I just set a rule that alter the relationships of thousands on no! Have I just done what I hate the most or am I a brat or a SAM or do I and Puck have so much in common we might be one in the same and just like to cause kaos.

Ah the new age

So very simple these days with internet and cell phones pocket pagers and blackberries communication is always at your finger tips. Slaves no matter how far away always within the reach of a touch pad or keyboard. I wonder if the letter wre the only means once again how life would change. The anticipation of waiting for the post, long distant slaves might wet themselves just at the sound of the gate opening and the steps of the mail man. The gambit of emotion that would run through them awaiting a reply from their Master oh it would be great if only for one thing the post was rarely down or out of reception area.

The era I speak of vitorian would have interesting times taking a lady for a walk in the woods and when distant from the eyes of the household striping off the lacey dress and undergarments and having a slave tied to a tree being whipped. all the time the threat of someone happening upon the naked women to add to humiliation or perhaps a threat to leave her on the road for the enjoyment of the village folk. A t night back at your side acting the perfect hostess to friends and maybe unkownling to those that had seen her with much less on!

Well pup and ling we just might have to try the letter form if lack of a pc and internet problems continue. Hmmm two naked slaves in the forest waiting for the whip or worse unknown hands, fantasies are enjoyable are they not?

CLoud

The perfect place not to

On four acres of farmland you think it would be a exercise heaven. Up at dawn a walk around swimming riding quads and at night relaxing in a hot tub with a glass of wine. Well it was all there but the exercising never took place and I am stiff and sore from the drive. The weekend was shopping eating and sleeping all need to be done but in moderation not 24/7. Alas when not in control what can you do but smile and do to make others happy.

My pets seem to have done well though I have to talk to pup about her techniques in masturbation a little too many injuries . I wonder how ling will do this week with a busy schedule of her son's activities. Mirrors were good
pets now to celebrate that I have returned we will have to get back to training nipples this week lets see those close pins how many pegs can you fit on your areolas ling we will start with you. Over the next 2 days I want to know how many clothes pegs you can put on yours oh ling no masturbation for those two days.

Now pup you have to take it easy in bed I would guess so we will do the opposite for you I want you to cum 3 times for the next two days the first two times use anything you want but your fingers the last time each night use your fingers.

Oh and yes ladies blog about your experiences and do be graphic! I think I am still waiting for goals am I not I will check for other tasks that I have asked for tomorrow I am tired from the drive and my vacation you could say.

My time is at hand and the darkness embraces me

CLoud