A decision

A new found friend is in a similar position that I was in many years ago. She had some experience in the lifestyle but put it away to be normal and have a marriage and family. The dark desires will sit for a while but they will surface at sometime. They have awoken in her and now is the time she might be able to put them back to sleep for awhile longer or release then and find her self.. I have seen two questions from her that troubled me in the past. Will this change me if I seek my desires and will I be able to keep my vanilla relationships if I go further.

The first question for me has to answered yes it will change you but not for the necessarily for the worse. It releases tension from your repression of desire it allows some calm to develop in your search for your self. Drawbacks are new tension because you do not find what you need because of time restraints or restraints put on you by your vanilla relationships. Worse if you find the perfect mate but you do not fit their needs. Then there is the tug of reality and other relationships.

Keeping other vanilla relationships depend on you and your mate what both are willing to accept. I have what I call a dove for a wife she has no interest in the lifestyle and cringes when some friends are over and something is mentioned about the lifestyle. That said I cringe when I hear her family is preparing a party. The good thing is that we give each other the time needed for our needs and desires and we are together for those things we like to share. So really it is up to each situation there is no key or way that is set in stone to have your cake and eat it to you have to find it through experience and with the help of friends. I have a few very good ones and that is all I can offer to my new friend , friendship above all else.