Tuesday, March 28, 2006

It must be Tuesday and Tyr is around again

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Simple words , a very clear meaning, no longer there. It was once you reached down with the mouse and clicked and up it popped. Giving away the thoughts and musings of one self. Exposing one soul to the scrutiny of others. I looked forward to every new post with anticipation. morningstar's blog suggest an almost addiction to reading of blog. The withdrawal syptomns are there when one blog disappears. We normally get over it, we miss it but we move on. Sometimes we fight even though we know we cannot win.

What is it when we cannot move on. What if we click on it every morning in the hopes that it was just a local problem and it will come on soon. Most things do not affect me I like to think I am cold a man of honour. Honour many times requires you doing what is right not what you want to. This is the place I find myself now. In hell wishing I could be not so honourable willing to take what I want instead of what I should. A raider from the north I am not, I have shined my armour and sharpened my sword too often to change and that is part of the sadness I wish I could change. I am an atheist but if there be gods I shall carry my sword and axe to the grave and from it with one purpose in mind, to cause the gods the same pain that I feel. To let them know what is to be human.

I have lost to the structure of the vanilla world, to what is right and what should be. I do not wish to turn this into blog of melancholy I have had enough of that. I will leave the link for my pleasure. I will when first I open the PC click on it, above all the rest. Sitting there while it loads I will remember what I had, the strength I gained from her, the joy I had with her. Then those words will appear and the emptiness I feel with her gone from my life will take over again. Still I hope not for long, it must be a local problem.

Just the rantings of a little more empty old man or school boy talking about lost loves. Tomorrow I will be back to the warrior of honour smiling and happy with life as it is and should be, today I will revel in the one that by-passed my armour and touched my heart.

1 comment:

CLoud said...

well butterfly if the warrior does not notice then he knows not what the world holds for him when battles are over. Thank you for your kind words.