Reality is a terrible thing

Reality has a way about itself. It is always there you can hide from it a bit it can hide from you at times but it is there. Merlin said that the way to destroy the power of Maude was to stop believing in her. That does not work with reality, you can stop but it remains as a constant companion. As much as the my futile efforts provide comfort to me that at least I tried I know that reality holds the power. Reality unfortunately is thrust upon us by the strangest things. I received a call today from my Gp, I had called him because his office called to tell me that the tests were fine. My Endo, with the same tests has sent me to a Kidney specialist saying that my kidneys are starting to fail.

SO I was surprised by the two calls so when I got hold of my Gp I asked him why the difference. He said yes my kidneys will fail in 30 years and at this stage there is nothing they will do except diet, but not to worry with the complications I have the kidneys will not be the thing to kill me something else will long before that . There is reality lifting it's head and staring at me. I know that I have a couple of good years left but when some one else tells you it stops you dead in your tracks. You realize that your time is finite how to do all that is not yet done. I do not fear death, I am sadden that I have not given myself to a great cause or fought a great battle . I know that my name will be remember by the few that call me husband, father and friend. That will be for a few moments in the time of this world not long a blink of a deities eye should they exist. The children that I saved do they do not know my name, do they remember what I did, does the butterfly?

This blog will disappear and my trace in this realm will be gone. If there is a next realm I hope for a more glorious time one with honour and history . One where you might read a book and find a name of a being that was glorified because he saved a butterfly.

CLoud