An emotion that I do not handle well

Feeling useless is an thought I cannot handle well nor is the sadness caused by it. When I realize I can have no effect I recoil and become a sad angry child.I do want to talk about it I just had to write itdown some where to reliece my emotions.

Thank you.

There is a sadness that comes with Christmas unfortunately. As I age it seems to be more and more prevalent with my age. I think it is the excitement that I have and the lack my family has. Compounded by recent incidents it is overtaking my joy for this season. A very lovely dog was staying with us and I have grown quite attached to it. I love animals and always wanted a dog when growing up but could not money , space and a brother taht was allergic.Though I have foster dogs about 10 of them I ran into the same problems when I was older this time it was my kids that were allergic. Unfortunately this dog bit my son under strange circumstances . Not that the dog was right to bite but I can understand why it did.

Now the dog will be taken away to spend its remaining days with my son's girlfriends father. It will not have the company for all in the house it will not have some one with it all the time nor some one to pay attention. The father has already said the dog is too old and I know he will work on her to put my friend down, and I have no power to stop it. to it. And I will loose a friend. This is when I hate the rules of ownership is not right but must accept them.

Tonight I am off to shop for presents and my lost spirityet the one that would make me happy will be the source that creates the greates sadness at this time of the year. Some how I do not really feel much like a strong and powerful dom. I have made things right in peooles lives I have save children and helped Monarch butterflies but never seem to do the right thing for me. a very sad and solitarty word the word me just never seems to get it's just due

So the lights are up. the tree is decorated and some presents are wrapped. IT is just my spirit is broken and gone for now.